


The Hangout

by blazedveggies556



Category: Undertale (Video Game)
Genre: Gen, Mad Dummy is mentioned, One-Shot, Short Story, Undyne's House, Waterfall, fire extinguishers are a necessity, pacifist, slight deviation from canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-04
Updated: 2019-10-04
Packaged: 2020-11-23 08:56:34
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20889476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blazedveggies556/pseuds/blazedveggies556
Summary: A shy, ditzy protagonist finds themselves hanging out with the Captain of the Royal Guard.





	The Hangout

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! Been a while since I've posted here, but I hope you're still enjoying my content, nonetheless! If you're interested in what I have planned for future works, check out the author's note below.
> 
> See you in a bit!

  
I stood there at the end of the bridge, my legs nearly buckling under the weight of my worn body, but I remained frozen in place, my eyes straining to see beyond the steam rising from the lava, my muscles twitching as I anticipated her return.  


  
But… she didn’t come back.  


  
I breathed out a loud, heavy sigh and flopped on the ground, not caring about the dirt that would stick to my sweaty hands and head. I just wanted my heart to stop going a million beats per minute.  


  
“First the fighting and then the running… augh!!” I cried out, rubbing my face with my dirty hands. My sweat was almost enough to make mud out of the soil.  


  
I laid on the ground for a few more minutes, my mind reeling from that dangerous encounter. It was a miracle that she tuckered out from the heat. Otherwise, I’m not sure how long I could have run for. If I had slowed down even a little, I would have been toast! And not the good kind with butter and jelly. The burnt kind that leaves a nasty smell in the kitchen for at least an hour.  


  
But then I thought about how she fainted. At first the sight made me absolutely giddy as I had more time to escape. But when I had looked over my shoulder and saw that she was still lying there…  


  
I turned my head to look at the used water cup beside me, sighing. I couldn’t just leave someone in that condition. Not even her. But now there was a chance that she would come after me again…  


  
I shook the thought from my head and sat up despite how sore my back and abs were. I needed a break from all this. The idea of walking further into Hotland was the last thing I wanted to do in my ragged state, but what else could be done?  


  
“I don’t know what to dooooo, but I don’t want to move ooooon,” I yawned, stretching out my arms above my head, but I stopped when something made a clattering noise behind me. I spun around to see the phone Toriel had given me on the ground.  


  
“Oops… hope I didn’t break it.” I picked it up and inspected it. Nothing seemed to be damaged, which I was relieved to see, but flipped it open to make sure the inside was just as secure.  


  
… Yep, all good. The only thing of note being a reminder on the screen of my most recent calls. The last one was from Papyrus.  


  
“Papyrus…? Oh, yeah! Papyrus! He mentioned something about meeting at… um… Undyne’s house, right? I should go see him!”  


  
It had been a while since I had seen the goofball and some antics were just what I was in the mood for. Dead set on my new and potentially fun plan, I threw the used cup into the lava below me (I didn’t see a trash can. That doesn’t count as littering, right?) and walked back to Waterfall through the bridge, which was less a bridge than a rock formation painted to look like a bridge. The things you notice when you’re not running for your life.  


  
  


  
_[…]_  


  
  


  
After trekking back for nearly half an hour (two flexing contests with Aaron and a stern washing from Woshua didn’t help make the journey any easier), I finally made it to the center of Waterfall… the center, right? I wasn’t sure, but at this point I was just glad I made it. And… I… eh heh… would’ve made a wrong turn into Napstablook’s house had I not spotted a familiar red scarf resting on the shoulders of a familiar looking skeleton standing in front of a not-so-familiar looking house.  


  
“OHO! THE HUMAN ARRIVES!” Papyrus called out. He beckoned me over. “OVER HERE, HUMAN! OUR HANGOUT CAN’T START WITH YOU STANDING SO FAR AWAY!” He was right, I wasn’t standing very close to the house, but even then, his boisterous voice carried over far enough to where I could hear his words crystal clear.  


  
“Coming!! Oh—” I covered my mouth. That was a little loud. I didn’t want to seem too excited, but my imagination was running wild with the fun that surely awaited me, but I toned it down a little. Just a little. “C… coming! Eh heh.” I wasted no time in briskly walking over to him, the heavy load from the journey already lifting off my chest.  


  
Trying to ignore the evil eye Mad Dummy was throwing my way, I greeted Papyrus with a wave and a smile.  


  
“HUMAN! YOU MADE I— WAIT, WHY ARE YOU WET?”  


  
“Wet? Um…” I looked down at my clothes. They were cold and sopping. The stench also wasn’t pleasant, but I didn’t even notice until now. “Oh… I guess that’s what wading through marshes will do to your clothes, eh heh.” I rubbed the back of my neck, my face a little hot. “It uh… might even be sweat. I walked here from Hotland and ran into a few—”  


  
“HOTLAND?” he asked, shocked, his tone even surprising me. “ALL THE WAY FROM THERE? WAS THE RIVERPERSON NOT IN TODAY?”  


  
“The… who?” I blinked.  


  
“THE RIVERPERSON! ANYONE CAN USE THEM AS TRANSPORT. YOU CAN ALWAYS FIND THEM SOMEWHERE ALONG THE RIVER. HENCE THE NAME!”  


  
When I thought about it, I had seen a cloaked figure in a boat, but I didn’t even think to ask. My shoulders drooped. “Oh… that… would have made the trip easier.”  


  
“THAT’S OKAY, HUMAN! YOU’RE ALL WARMED-UP NOW TO MEET UNDYNE, IN A MANNER OF SPEAKING. OUR HANGOUTS CAN GET REALLY INTENSE, SO A LITTLE EXERCISE BEFORE NEVER HURTS!”  


  
He about-faced to the door of the house. “SO, IF YOU’RE READY TO HANGOUT WITH HER, JUST STAND BEHIND ME AND WE’LL GET THIS BALL ROLLING AND NEVER HAVE IT STOP!”  


  
“Okay!” I did as I was told, doing my best to keep from jumping in place. I couldn’t wait another minute! Though, somehow, I found myself distracted by the outside décor of the house.  


  
Papyrus said something else to me before knocking on the door, but I was too busy looking at how intricate the house design was. It felt intimidating (an oddly… familiar feeling of intimidation) but it looked awesome with scales of lavender and periwinkle shades, an outstanding mohawk, and… was that even a tail coming out of the back?  


  
“Wow. Undyne must be a dragon monster. So cool…” I wondered to myself.  


  
I couldn’t see what was going on with Papyrus blocking my view, but I heard him rapping on the door and the piano music that had been playing in the background stopping mid-note. Then the door opened like that of a large beast unclenching its jaws.  


  
Again, I couldn’t see much of what was going on in front of me, but as Papyrus greeted his friend, I craned my neck to the side to get a glimpse of her.  


  
And froze.  


  
That face.  


  
That was _her_ face! The same face that spelled “death” with that menacing smile!  


  
That was _her_?! This was _Undyne_?!  


  
“Hi, Papyrus! You ready for your extra-private, one-on-one session?” a voice asked, that same voice that had been spouting threats of murder just hours ago.  


  
I was sick to my stomach. How could I not know this was _Undyne_?! I should have known that!! How did I not pick up on her name during battle?! Did I have the attention span of a goldfish?!  


  
“P… P-Pa… Papyrus…” I whispered hoarsely, tapping on his arm. Maybe I could get him to escort me out of here. But it was in vain. He didn’t notice!  


  
“YOU BET I AM! AND I BROUGHT A FRIEND!”  


  
“W… w-wait. Papyru—!” I tried to say, but it was too late. He stepped out to the side and I was completely exposed.  


  
At first, it didn’t seem like she recognized me as she still had a pleasant smile on her face. Well, pleasanter than the one in battle as her teeth were scary enough on their own.  


  
“Hi, I don’t think we…” she began. Maybe everything would be okay?  


  
But it was false hope. The smile she had quickly twisted into a ferocious snarl, her eyes staring daggers into mine, keeping my feet stuck to the ground. I thought that could only happen when my SOUL was green! But this was pure intimidation that kept my body from moving. I was sweating bullets. Not the magic kind. The kind you sweat when you’re facing your impending doom.  


  
The silence dragged on for what felt like hours as Undyne stared at me, then at Papyrus (whose calm demeanor I was jealous of), then back at me with that unnerving glare. Then finally she clasped her hands together with a grip so tight the skin on her knuckles went from a vibrant blue to a pinkish-white, her snarl widening into a faux grin that revealed more of her shark-like teeth.  


  
“Why. Don’t you two. Come in?” she politely offered through gritted teeth. She turned on her heels and stomped inside with Papyrus enthusiastically following (not before wiping his feet off on the mat, of course).  


  
I… still didn’t move, though. To be frank, all the excitement I had about this hangout vanished. The leftover energy I had went to my shivering from the cold and from fright.  


  
“C’mon… I have t-to… m-move! And… a-and Papyrus will be there! Yeah, s-so… maybe this won’t be so bad,” I assured myself. “Yeah… maybe his shenanigans will distract her from wanting to kill me. Eh heh heh… eh…”  


  
As reluctant as I was, I forced myself inside one step at a time, which probably looked kind of weird, like a rusty robot that was removing their feet from quicksand, but at least I was finally moving.  


  
  


  
_[…]_  


  
  


  
Once inside, my fear ebbed as I took in the normalcy of the interior. Normal kitchen floor, normal piano, normal stove…  


  
But the fear came right back when I saw the giant sword leaning against the wall to my right.  


  
“Mmm…” I groaned, pulling on my shirt, almost tearing a hole in it from the stress.  


  
I was pulled away from my thoughts when Papyrus mentioned me. “MY FRIEND BROUGHT A GIFT FOR YOU. ON THEIR OWN!” From out of nowhere, he presented a bone of a golden yellow color, not a bone I recognized from any encounter I had with him. He probably only gave them as gifts.  


  
I would have laughed at how obvious her grimace was at the present and Papyrus’ obliviousness to her reaction but whatever mirth I had died in my throat under her sharp stare.  


  
She looked back at Papyrus. “Uhhh… thanks.” She came forward to take it while I took a small step back, just enough to where it wasn’t noticeable but gave me a head start in case I needed to make a break for it.  


  
“I’ll… uh… put it with the others,” she stated as she went to the back of the kitchen and placed it in a drawer chock-full of those bones.  


  
“Well… at least Papyrus is generous,” I thought, still nervous but a little more at ease knowing this silly skeleton was by my side.  


  
_Maybe everything will be okay. Maybe me and Undyne will end up being friends._  


  
“So are we ready to start?” Undyne huffed. She was clearly annoyed by me being there, but at least she didn’t seem angry. That was progress!  


  
_Yeah, maybe everything will be okay!_  


  
That’s what I was thinking, until Papyrus said, “WHOOPSY DOOPSY! I JUST REMEMBERED! I HAVE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM!” He sent a wave to both me and Undyne. “YOU TWO HAVE FUN!!”  


  
And with that, the only barrier standing between me and death did a front flip out the window with impeccable agility.  


  
Undyne didn’t seem surprised, simply staring at the broken pieces of glass with irritation (maybe this was a regular occurrence). Then her full attention was back on me, the weight of her scowl unbearable.  


  
“So why are YOU here?” she demanded. I didn’t know how to answer that. I didn’t even think I’d be doing this again! Another face-off with Undyne was the last thing I thought this “hangout” would be.  


  
_Papyrus, why did you leave?! You don’t even know what a toilet is!!_  


  
“I… um… u-uh…” I stuttered, but she didn’t let me finish.  


  
“To rub your victory in my face?”  


  
“Uh…”  


  
“To humiliate me even further?”  


  
“N… n… um…”  


  
“IS THAT IT?”  


  
“N-no! No… not at all.”  


  
_Why would she think all that about me? Are humans really seen as that awful down here?_  


  
I was taken aback by how well she took my answer. Her intense glare relaxed into a small frown as she crossed her arms, turning her head away to look to the side.  


  
“Then why are you here?” she asked, which was a good question. Why was I here? She really didn’t like me, and I was terrified of the woman. Rightfully so! And Papyrus wasn’t here now, so… did I really need to be here?  


  
But… even though we didn’t like each other… thinking about how she didn’t kill me after I saved her… she could have killed me, but she didn’t. Maybe then… it was possible…  


  
“Wait, I get it.” She squinted at me and sneered. “I can tell just by lookin’ at your face. You think that I’m gonna be friends with you, huh? Right???”  


  
I was quaking now at the sheer strength of her voice, but I needed to pull through with this plan.  


  
“Y… yes…?”  


  
“Really? How delightful! I accept! Let’s all frolic in the fields of friendship!”  


  
I perked up when I heard that! That was easy! “Really?”  


  
“NO!”  


  
“Oh…”  


  
Nothing is ever easy.  


  
“Why would I EVER be friends with YOU!? If you weren’t my houseguest, I’d beat you up right now!”  


  
“Well… I… I… I’m not…” I tried to answer, but again was cut off.  


  
“You’re the enemy of everyone’s hopes and dreams!” She slammed her fist on the table, causing me to jump back. “I WILL NEVER BE YOUR FRIEND,” she roared. “Now get out of my house!”  


  
I shuffled to the door, not daring to turn my back to her. “O-o-okay, I’m leaving! I’m leaving!”  


  
“DANG! WHAT A SHAME…”  


  
That sudden recognizable voice made both of us jump that time. Papyrus was outside the broken window, the shattered glass around his face acting like an abstract picture frame, making it look like he was just a talking head.  


  
“I THOUGHT UNDYNE COULD BE FRIENDS WITH YOU.” He sighed and shrugged. “BUT I GUESS… I OVERESTIMATED HER. SHE’S JUST NOT UP TO THE CHALLENGE.”  


  
“CHALLENGE!? What!? Papyrus! Wait a second…!” Undyne called after him, but he had already scurried off to… well, wherever he was going. But I didn’t pay any mind to where he went. I was simply in awe of his sudden… genius! Maybe I completely underestimated him…  


  
But I couldn’t think much more about this realization as I was brought back to reality with a sudden cry from Undyne.  


  
“He thinks I can’t be friends with YOU!? YOU!? Wimpy Smells-A-Lot!?”  


  
_Hey… well, she’s not wrong. I do need a bath._  


  
She threw back her head and cackled. “Fuhuhu! What a joke! I could make friends with a wimpy loser like you any day! I’ll show him!”  


  
I flinched as she lunged towards me, her finger pointed at my face and pulverizing my personal bubble.  


  
“Listen up, human. We’re not just going to be friends.”  


  
“We… we’re not…?” I was afraid of what her reply would be. How much closer could two people get?  


  
She shook her head and got even closer, beaming at me with a menacing air about her. “Nuh uh, ‘cause we’re going to be so much more than that. We’re going to be… BESTIES.”  


  
Suddenly I found myself in her grasp, her hands gripping my arms in a tight hold, my feet a few centimeters off the ground. Somehow, this was a much worse situation than her past attempts to kill me.  


  
“I’ll make you like me so much… You won’t be able to think of anyone else!!! Fuhuhuhu! It’s the PERFECT REVENGE!!!”  


  
As quick as I found myself in the air, I found myself dropped on the ground as Undyne clasped her hands peacefully together and spoke in such a polite manner that it would have given that proverbial ‘hostess with the mostess’ a run for her money. “Why don’t you have a seat?”  


  
I sprang up from the ground and looked about me. There was only one stool. Is that where I was supposed to sit? It made sense, but I was questioning all my choices. I did not want to anger her further. But… I also didn’t want to keep her waiting, so I took my chances and cautiously inched my way over to the chair and sat down.  


  
“Comfortable?” she inquired ever so sweetly.  


  
“Y-yes! Absolutely!”  


  
It was actually a little hard on the heinie, but, yeah, right. Like I was really going to say that out loud.  


  
Undyne gave a small giggle (that sounded more like she was just clearing her throat) and replied, “I’ll get you something to drink.”  


  
I kept my eye on her as she walked over to her fridge. Was this happening for real? Were we really just gonna hang out like old buds? I glanced at the front door. … Running away was still an option, right?  


  
“HELLO?!”  


  
My eyes zipped back to Undyne who now stood in front of a few different choices of drink. She coughed into her hand. “*Ehem* I mean, uh, hey. Don’t space out on me now, ha ha. What would you like?”  


  
I looked beyond her at the various selections… well, four selections, really. The yellow soda looked promising.  


  
_So do I… go grab it myself?_  


  
I didn’t want to be rude and have her go get it for me, so I swung my legs to the side and—  


  
_**WHAM! CRACK!**_  


  
Suddenly the table in front of me was split in half by a large energy spear.  


  
Running away was definitely not an option.  


  
“HEY!!! DON’T GET UP!!!” she bellowed, her shoulders heaving. “YOU’RE THE GUEST!! SIT DOWN AND ENJOY YOURSELF!!!” Her shoulders paused mid-rise as she froze, then she relaxed once more, pulling back the hair from her eyes. I could see a few beads of sweat forming on her brow. This must have been really difficult for her. “Um, why not just point to what you want? You can use the spear!”  


  
I gave her a shaky thumbs-up. “O-okay. Will do! Eh heh…” Now I really needed a change of clothes, but I did as I was told.  


  
The spear cracked and sizzled as it lay dormant in the fissure of the table. I was still wary of touching it (even though I had used it for defense before), but I mustered the courage to grab it by the head and wiggle it out (with surprisingly little effort). I wondered which side I should use to point with.  


  
“Eh heh. Use the head to point with, treasured houseguest,” Undyne advised, that last word coming out a little strained.  


  
“O-oh, yes. Of course.” I flipped over the spear and began to look over my options.  


  
_Sugar… um… why is that in the fridge? … I’m good._  


  
_Soda? Nah, I lost my appetite for it…_  


  
_Hot chocolate? Bleh. I hate chocolate. Hmm… I have a headache now for some reason._  


  
_Tea box: the blatantly correct choice. Then I’ll blatantly choose it._  


  
I eyed the box and readied the spear. Like playing darts or something.  


  
“Wait, what are you—”  


  
_**FWISH!**_  


  
The sound of the soaring spear interrupted Undyne. It crashed through the boxes and stuck in the wall behind it.  


  
“That’s… th-that’s what you wanted me to do… right?” I asked, very unsure.  


  
Nope nope nope. I was wrong. She didn’t want me to do that, which was now obvious by the resurfacing of that murderous glare, though she still had that darling smile. Maybe her facial muscles were frozen from doing it for so long.  


  
“That’s. Fine. All good. Tea, huh? Coming right up!” She lumbered over to the tea box and took a packet out, setting it aside, then grabbed a kettle from the sink and ran some water through it, setting it down on the stove as she turned on the fire.  


  
“It’ll take a moment for the water to boil,” she explained. She stood there, stiff as a board, her back to me, but her head was slightly turned so I could just barely be in her line of vision. I tried to divert my attention elsewhere, maybe think of something for conversation.  


  
But luckily the kettle whistled and stopped me from possibly placing my foot in my mouth.  


  
“Okay, it’s all done!” She hastily grabbed a blue cup and poured some of the hot water in it, steeping the tea packet, then came over and placed it gently on the table, managing to balance it on the incline.  


  
“Here we are,” she breathed out, taking a seat across from me in a stool I hadn’t noticed before. “Careful it’s hot.”  


  
“Ah, ok. I’ll let it sit a b—”  


  
“It’s not THAT hot!! Just drink it already!”  


  
I hurriedly took the cup in my hands and took a big swig. It was burning, making me cough and sputter, but I gave her a shaky grin. “Mmm, yummy, heh heh…” Then I actually tasted what was left on my tongue. “… Mm. That’s… pretty good.”  


  
“Nothing but the best for my ABSOLUTELY PRECIOUS FRIEND!!!”  


  
“Heh heh… uh, thank you.”  


  
… The silence after that was really bad. We sat there looking at everything but each other’s eyes, until Undyne said, “Hey… you know… it’s kind of strange you chose THAT tea.”  


  
“Hm? This tea?”  


  
“Golden flower tea… that’s Asgore’s favorite kind.”  


  
I swirled the liquid around in the cup, thinking.  


  
_Golden flower, huh? Golden flower… sounds familiar._  


  
“Actually, now that I think about it…” she continued, “you kind of remind me of him.” She howled. “You’re both TOTAL weenies!!!”  


  
“Oh, ha ha ha! Y-yeah! That sounds like me alright. Eh heh…”  


  
“… sort of.”  


  
Eh? Was that… almost a compliment? About me? Undyne looked like she was going to say something more, so I listened intently to her next words.  


  
“Y’know, I was a pretty hotheaded kid. Once, to prove I was the strongest, I tried to fight Asgore.” She shook her head and chuckled. “Emphasis on TRIED. I couldn’t land a single blow on him! And worse, the whole time, he refused to fight back! *sigh* I was so humiliated… Afterwards, he apologized and said something goofy… ‘Excuse me, do you want to know how to beat me?’ It was the weirdest question, but… I said yes, and from then on, he trained me.”  


  
She paused, rubbing her wrist and looking away. I scooched a little closer to the table. “One day, during practice, I finally knocked him down. I felt… bad. But he was beaming! I had never seen someone more proud to get their butt kicked. … Anyway, long story short, he kept training me…” She looked back, a smile in tow. “And now I’m the head of the Royal Guard! So I’m the one who gets to train dorks to fight!”  


  
“Like Papyrus? Eep—” I covered my mouth. I didn’t mean to call Papyrus a dork, but Undyne didn’t seem to mind my interjection. In fact, she welcomed it!  


  
“Ha ha! Yeah! … yeah, like, uh, Papyrus.”  


  
Again, more silence, but instead of Undyne, I decided to pick up the conversation. “So… is he still training to be in the Royal Guard? If… if you don’t mind me saying so, I think he’d be an amazing asset to you guys. He was really good at fighting when we battled. We did it, like, three times! He was really hard to beat! He should totally be in the Royal Guard!”  


  
“Hmm… yeah…” she sighed.  


  
I cocked my head, confused by what her reaction meant. “Am… am I wrong?”  


  
“What? Oh no, no, no. It’s just that Papyrus… well, I already know he’s pretty freaking tough! You don’t need to tell me that. It’s just that… he’s… he’s too innocent and nice!!!” She gestured to me. “I mean, look, you’re not even supposed to be here! He was SUPPOSED to capture you… and he ended up being FRIENDS with you instead! I could never let him into the Royal Guard. Sending him into battle… he’d just get ripped into little smiling shreds.”  


  
She rested her chin on her hand and continued, rather sadly. “That’s part of why… I started teaching him how to cook, you know? So, um, maybe he can do something else with his life.”  


  
A strange feeling hit me as everything went silent again. Looking at Undyne now, she didn’t seem like the same monster I encountered not too long ago. It was… really weird seeing her looking so concerned for a friend. I wasn’t even afraid of her anymore. I felt… like I was concerned _with_ her. The silence wasn’t even awkward anymore. It was simply… calm.  


  
Undyne finally looked back up at me. “Oh, sorry, I was talking for so long… You’re out of tea, aren’t you?” She got up from her chair. “I’ll get you some more.”  


  
“Oh. Thank you.”  


  
“Sure.”  


  
I took in the last sip of tea as she walked to the stove, but she only made it a few steps before she stopped in her tracks.  


  
“Wait a minute… Papyrus…”  


  
“Mm?” I was still trying to squeeze out the last of the liquid from the tea bag.  


  
“His cooking lesson…” She jumped up in shock. “HE WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE THAT RIGHT NOW!!!”  


  
“O-oh, really? I can leave then if you w—”  


  
Her guffawing cut through my words. This… was not a good sign.  


  
“No, you won’t be going _anywhere_, human. If HE’s not here to have it…” She dramatically pointed at me. I had really hoped it wasn’t me, but, no. She was pointing at me. “YOU’LL HAVE TO HAVE IT FOR HIM!!!”  


  
“Wait… what?! M-M-ME!?” I was in disbelief. If this was basically training with Undyne, then things were about to get really intense. I wasn’t ready for that!  


  
But despite my uncertainty, Undyne leaped into the air and onto her kitchen counter, swiftly kicking all the items out of her way.  


  
“That’s right!!! NOTHING has brought Papyrus and I closer than cooking! Which means that if I give you his lesson… WE’LL BECOME CLOSER THAN YOU CAN EVER IMAGINE!!!”  


  
My mouth must have been gaping open because it had never felt it so dry. That seemed to amuse Undyne. “Fuhuhu!!! Afraid!?”  


  
“YES.”  


  
“Good!! You’re gonna need all the energy you can get to get through this!! Fuhuhuhu!!! We’re gonna be best friends!!!”  


  
Without warning, she lunged towards me in a single bound and grabbed the top of my head.  


  
“W-w-w-w-w-w-wait wait! I-I-I-I-I-I’m not read—AH!” She yanked me over to the counter before I had a chance to protest. Welp, this was happening, and I was just going to have to face it.  


  
She clapped her hands and rubbed them. If I didn’t know better, I would have thought she was excited to cook with me. … Did I know better?  


  
“Alright, punk! Let’s start with the sauce!!” she stamped her foot on the ground and shook the whole house, but it was precise enough to where only a few vegetables fell from the… ceiling? Were those cabinets on the ceiling?  


  
“Um, are those—?”  


  
“No questions!!” Undyne demanded. “Only focus on the task at hand!!” She motioned to the produce. “See these vegetables? Envision these as your greatest enemy! Now!! Pound them to dust with your fists!!”  


  
I looked at my hands. I had never pounded before, but you know what… I had a lot weighing on me. Why not let loose a little? I pulled back my fist and punched the vegetables at full force, letting out a hearty “Hyah!”  


  
… I knocked over a tomato. … Man, I really _was_ wimpy.  


  
But Undyne was beaming and fist pumped! “Yeah! Yeah! Our hearts are uniting against these healthy ingredients! NOW IT’S MY TURN! NGAHHH!”  


  
I could hear her punching those ingredients into oblivion, but I only saw a split second of it before the paste splashed into my face. “Pbthpppth! Blech… I think I got raw tomato sauce in my mouth.”  


  
“Oops. Fuh huh, maybe that was a little overboard, but, uhh, we’ll just scrape this into a bowl later. But for NOW!” She stomped again and slid over to the oven where there was now a pot and a pack of uncooked spaghetti. “… we add the noodles! Homemade noodles are the best! BUT I JUST BUY STORE-BRAND! THEY’RE THE CHEAPEST!!! NGAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!”  


  
_Um… that’s either a reference, an inside joke, or she’s just really passionate about cheap prices._  


  
She probably read that inner thought from my face as she cleared her throat and relaxed. “Uhh, just put them in the pot.”  


  
“Okay!” I slammed the entire open box into the pot. It felt right.  


  
“YEAH!!! I’M INTO IT!!! Now it’s time to stir the pasta! As a general rule of thumb, the more you stir… THE BETTER IT IS! Think you can handle that, squirt?!”  


  
“Y-yeah, yes! Yes, I can!!”  


  
“Then let’s do it!”  


  
“Okay!” I grabbed the wooden spoon and started to stir (though it was a little difficult considering that the pot was at my eye level).  


  
“Stir harder!” Undyne instructed.  


  
I stirred harder.  


  
“HARDER!”  


  
I stirred even harder.  


  
“HARDER!!!!”  


  
I stirred my hardest as I had ever stirred in my life!!  


  
“Ugh, let me do it!” An energy spear appeared out of nowhere and pummeled the pot and spoon into a pulp. “Fuhuhuhu! That’s the stuff!”  


  
I peeked inside the sad tin can that once was the pot. “There are a lotta splinters in here.”  


  
“Who said justice was gonna be easy to digest!? Fuhuhuhu!! Alright, now for the final step: TURN UP THE HEAT! Let the stovetop symbolize your passion! Let your hopes and dreams turn into burning fire! READY? Don’t hold anything back!!!”  


  
“‘Don’t hold anything back!’ Got it!!” I reached over the kettle and began turning the knob. The flames around the pot steadily rose with each click. I started to slow down as the flames were getting a little high.  


  
“Hotter!” Undyne barked.  


  
“O-okay!” I turned the knob back at full force.  


  
“HOTTER, DARNIT!”  


  
“Okay!!” The metal was starting to melt.  


  
“HOTTER!!!!!!!”  


  
“YES!!!!!” Even the noodles had caught on fire. “YES!!!!!!!!!”  


  
“Wait, that’s too—”  


  
_**FWOOOOOOM**_  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
When the bright light settled, the whole kitchen was set ablaze.  


  
Oh geez. Did… did that really happen?  


  
“Ah. Man, no wonder Papyrus sucks at cooking,” Undyne observed. She was unusually calm for someone whose whole house was now literally fireproof. Because it was already on fire.  


  
We both stared at the black, burnt stove. Our dish was most definitely ruined.  


  
“So what’s next? Scrapbooking? Friendship bracelets?” Undyne still had that sweet smile, but it fell as she sighed in defeat. “… oh, who am I kidding. I really screwed this up, didn’t I? I can’t force you to like me, human. Some people just don’t get along with each other. I understand if you feel that way about me.”  


  
“But, Undyne. I don’t—”  


  
“And if we can’t be friends…” she continued (maybe she couldn’t hear me over the flames), “That’s okay. Because… if we’re not friends…”  


  
Blue light began to crackle in her palms. I stepped back warily. “Wait, Undyne… WAH!” An energy spear was pointed right at my chest. That scowl of hers that I nearly forgot about was back with a vengeance.  


  
“IT MEANS I CAN DESTROY YOU WITHOUT REGRET!”  


  
_Oh no…_  


  
My soul pulsed with anxiety as the room grew darker. I didn’t want to do this again, but it didn’t seem like I had a choice.  


  
“I’ve been defeated… my house is in shambles… I even failed to befriend you.” Her grip tightened around her spear, her body trembling with what I could only assume was fury. “That’s it. I don’t care if you’re my guest anymore. One final rematch! All out on both sides!!! IT’S THE ONLY WAY I CAN REGAIN MY LOST PRIDE!!! NOW COME ON! HIT ME WITH ALL YOU’VE GOT! NGAHHHH!!!”  


  
“I… I… I can’t…”  


  
“C’MON! WIMP! LOSER!! HIT ME ALREADY!!!”  


  
But I couldn’t. I didn’t _want_ to hurt her. I had thought about it before. I had seriously thought about killing her every time I died in battle. Over… and over… and over again. I feared her so much. I hated her so much. It would have been cathartic. To let out all my frustration. To let out ALL my anger.  


  
… But now the thought was completely repulsive to me. How could I ever think to hurt her? But… if this was what she wanted… if this would make her happy…  


  
I balled up my fist. If this would make her happy…  


  
“HIT ME!!!!!!”  


  
… then I was gonna give it my all!!!!  


  
“HYAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!”  


  
Bare skin met sharp scales. Square in the jaw.

  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
  


  
… -1 HP.  


  
I threw the best fake attack I could give.  


  
Undyne stood there, her spear limp in her hands, a mixture of disbelief and… relief…? … written on her face. “What? That’s the best you can manage?” She looked away, contemplative. “Even at full force… you just can’t muster any intent to hurt me, huh?”  


  
Silence. It was an ambience I had become accustomed to.  


  
Then a chuckle from Undyne. A genuine giggle. “Heh, you know what?” The spear fell from her hands and clattered to the ground, disappearing into a plethora of electric blue particles. “I don’t actually want to hurt you either. At first, I hated your stupid saccharine schtick, but… the way you hit me right now, it…” she rubbed her jaw, not out of pain, but as if she was feeling the memory of my punch, trying to… connect it to something… “reminded me of someone I used to train with. Now I know you aren’t just some wimpy loser.” She flashed a wide grin. A genuine grin, her teeth adding to its flair. “You’re a wimpy loser with a big heart! Just like him…”  


  
“Just like… Asgore?”  


  
“Heh. Yeah. Just like him…”  


  
I looked down. Hearing that name now… it brought me back to the harsh reality I was facing.  


  
“You scared to face him, human?”  


  
I looked back up at her, into her eyes, and nodded.  


  
“Don’t be. Knowing him… he probably doesn’t want to fight. Talk to him. I’m sure you can persuade him to let you go home. Eventually, some mean human will fall down here… And I’ll take THEIR soul instead. That makes sense, right? Fuhuhu.”  


  
I nodded. “Ha… yeah…”  


  
“Oh, but if you DO hurt Asgore… I’ll take the human souls… cross the barrier… and beat the hell out of you!”  


  
“Ah hah… w-well… f-f-fair enough, I guess… eh heh.”  


  
“Exactly! That’s what friends are for, right? Fuhuhu!” She swung an arm around me in a side hug, I think. I’d like to think it was a hug. I kinda needed one. “Now let’s get the hell out of this flaming house!”  


  
“Can do!”  


  
  


  
_[…]_  


  
  


  
Outside, the house had completely lost its lavender sheen to an inky charcoal that covered it from mohawk to tail. It was a little sad to see, but I was glad that no one got hurt. Still, though, I felt the strong need to apologize to Undyne and did so thoroughly.  


  
“Eh, don’t worry about it. Always thought this would happen one of these days. I just thought it would be a lot cooler, with a lot of explosions and stuff!!! Fuhuhu!! I had a blast, human! We’ll have to hang out again another time…! But, uh, somewhere else I guess. In the meantime, I guess I’ll go hang with Papyrus. So if you need me, drop by Snowdin, OK!?”  


  
She started sprinting out of the entrance of her home but turned back just in time before she was out of earshot to yell out, “See ya later, punk!!” And then she was gone.  


  
I was going to leave, but… somehow found myself staring at the flames of the house, feeling the warmth it gave. And I thought… something I didn’t do a lot of.  


  
_Papyrus…_  


  
_Undyne…_  


  
_I really haven’t been paying attention, and… I really haven’t been seeing who you truly are…_  


  
_I won’t do that to anyone anymore… no matter how bad things may seem… no matter how many times I fail… I have to try…_  


  
_I promise…_  


**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed that story! I'll admit, it's not my most creative work, but I still had fun writing it, and I hope you had fun reading it.
> 
> Anyways, here's what I'm planning to work on next:
> 
> A chapter for Unexpected Encounter: DO NOT RESET
> 
> A Deltarune one-shot
> 
> And the next chapter for Deltarune Shorts
> 
> I'm not sure if they'll go in that order. I may post the Deltarune one-shot first, but we'll see. There's also a speculative one-shot celebrating a recent achievement for Toby Fox (you might know what I'm talking about ;) ), but we'll see if I get to that.
> 
> Thanks for bearing with me. Until next time!


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